Many parents have great concern when their autistic child reaches the old age of sexual maturity. To do? Should we put our daughter on birth control? Should we try to explain sexuality to our child who can’t sit still or offer her attention for more than a minute? It’s a dilemma and every child faces this moment in her life.

The first question many people ask is, “Do autistic people have sex?” That’s like asking if it will get dark outside tonight. Of course, the answer is “yes”. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it is the truthful answer to face with your child.

Another question you may have is, “Should I talk about sex with my child?” This answer has a lot to do with your child’s skill level. If your son or daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome, then the answer is a resounding “yes.” If your child doesn’t have the ability to tie their shoes or feed themselves, you need to determine if your child will gain anything from this discussion.

Other parents ask if their young adult will become sexually active. This, like so many things related to autism, is an interesting and difficult question. First of all, it is not uncommon for both boys and girls to masturbate. Sometimes, depending on where the person appears on the spectrum, masturbation can take place in places that can be embarrassing. During my years of teaching the autistic population, this happened occasionally in the classroom. We discussed the situation with the school psychologist and her recommendation was to take the boy out of the classroom and into the bathroom for privacy. This, I know, is not the solution that everyone would agree with. For this reason, in my opinion, each teacher and each parent must find their own satisfactory solution. Apart from masturbation, sexual intercourse with another person is quite possible. Again, it depends on your child’s skill level.

It is interesting to note that many more autistic adults are asexual compared to the rest of the population. It is also believed that there is a higher percentage of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people with autism compared to the general population. Part of the reason for this is that there is not such a strong need for conformity. Another interesting fact is that many more gay autistics are celibate. This is by choice.

Some parents wonder if their child will ever date, find a partner, and possibly get married. Naturally, this scenario is much lower than in the rest of the population. There are couples who get married. However, these are generally high-functioning autistics. Some of the reasons why an autistic person might not get involved in a relationship is the simple fact that it can be very difficult for a person with social problems to find a partner. Often, apart from the norm, it is not uncommon for the female to put the mark on the male. However, the male, due to his inexperience, may not react properly simply because he does not know how to do it.

Part 2 will go a little deeper into sexuality and the autistic young adult.

Until next time, have a great day and remember to take good care of yourself!