The place is hot and steamy, throbbing to the beat of shrill music and spinning bodies. You see her working in the crowded apartment and you have to meet her. A brilliant idea: you will buy him a drink. But wait a sec, that only works in nightclubs and you’re in a gym. So while you could send a 20 oz package. Tropical Xtremo Gatorade your way, which likely won’t produce the desired result, no matter how important fluid replacement is during strenuous exercise. What do you do for a living?

Gyms notoriously attract flashy people. There’s no greater concentration of vigorous muscles and skimpy, tight clothing anywhere … except perhaps in the adult thriller section of your local Blockbuster Video. Let’s face it, even the most average looking gym-goer is fit and healthy, or at least will be in a few months. But while gyms are a veritable bakery for available biscuits and steak biscuits, they can actually be quite complicated places to meet people. Gyms are often full of cheesy performers with sleazy overtones or, on the other hand, designer posers who wear equipment that walk a lot and manage to lift very little.

But there has to be some way for normal people to meet other normal people at the gym, right? The simple answer is yes, but not without taking into account several things, especially if your idea of ​​a good opening line is something like “Nice shoes, do you want French?”

Listen, all the muscular Casanovas out there: no matter how eager you are to start mating … huh; dating process, you have to explore the scene. Some gyms are as flirty as all you can drink “body shot night” at Club Med. Others, well, you’d probably have better luck browsing a Buddhist monastery. Look around. Are people talking … to each other … and not asking if they can “work”? If that’s the case, start conversations at will (we’ll cover what to say shortly). But if the environment is more professional, it is probably better if you continue to take care of yours. Unsolicited jokes, no matter how clever, can stick out worse than a left elbow during assisted triceps dips.

Next, and most importantly, you can see someone, but don’t scare them. It’s one thing to take a peek while she’s lying on the stretching mat, it’s quite another to train your piercing gaze on her (no matter how awesome her abs technique may be). Among the women I have spoken to, the consensus is clear. One or two quick glances, and maybe even a small smile, are flattering; Prolonged staring, drooling, or high-fives with your equally lustful friends isn’t. Of course, even the strongest exhibit occasional weaknesses – if you can’t help it, use the gym mirrors for a much less detectable look. (This technique can also give you a better view of, say, the traditionally hidden parts of an attractive physique.)

You’ve seen someone on the side machine, you’ve used the mirror, and you like what you see. You’re ready to make your move, right? Wait, tough boy. The next step is to acknowledge your receptivity. Just as exercise is a social experience, it can also be lonely and serious. Some people just want to get in and out as quickly as possible. This is especially true in gyms where members squeeze in workouts during hectic appointment times, or even before the workday begins. People are not likely to seek romance in the middle of their daily grind, and while their hormones may be up at 6 a.m., it is unlikely that someone who wakes up while it’s still dark would want to meet anyone other than the job. of coffee. guy. The same can be said for those who hit the gym after work – they probably just want to exercise, go home, and eat a salad. If some jerk wearing zebra print Zubaz pants hinders that progress, do you think he’ll get that number (the real one)? It may have caught your eye, but you can’t assume the feeling is mutual unless he sees you and smiles back. Even then, wait another minute, just to make sure she’s not there with her championship boxer boyfriend, who would be more than happy to use your face like a leather glove to focus.

When it comes to the opening of lines, we all have our stand-by. But at the gym, inspired pickups like “Sagittarius, right?” “I’m on the soccer team” and “please don’t call the police” may not work as well. It is true that women’s reactions vary, depending largely on childbirth, making it difficult to say what to say. But there are definitely techniques to avoid. The worst offender? The old “let me show you how to do that” maneuver. We’ve all seen this move in action, and we could even be guilty of trying (listen, personal trainers). There is nothing wrong with correcting someone’s form, unless it is used as a pretext to look at their body from close range or, worse still, to place an “instructive” hand on it. Most men don’t mind the touch of a stranger (and probably fantasize about it), but women like it just as much as dirty bathrooms, back hair, and spitting contests. Here’s something else they hate: guys who comment on how stretchy they are. Yes, women are flexible and flexibility is incredible; Just ask Emoke Ritter, world famous Hungarian contortionist (never heard of her?). Women understand that they can bend in ways that spark the male imagination; save yourself the embarrassment of mentioning it. The last thing a woman wants to hear from a stranger, unless you’re Leonardo DiCaprio, is “boy, are you flexible.” The same goes for “great muscle tone,” “killer pecs,” or “nice butt.” Keep the focus off your body, at least out loud. Instead, comment on the book you are reading or the music you are listening to. Or just ask him what his name is. Talk a little. Get some exercise. Build rapport first, then you can show him the correct way to shoulder press. Better yet, let me show you.

The 5 least effective gym pickup lines

1) Is it a detour bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

2) Nice glutes.

3) I’d love to buy you a drink, but I’m on Atkins.

4) You know, my favorite exercise is push-ups. It is better to do it with 2 people, would you like to join?

5) Hello, my name is Richard Simmons.