Knowing your unique needs and the needs of your sexual partner can be very enlightening. See if you can find a little or a lot of yourself in each of these characters, and I’m sure you’ll recognize an ex or current partner in one or many of these characters. It is not about accusations and excuses, but about the realities necessary to understand the developing self and current struggles. The important thing when looking at these sexual styles is not to try to find out what sexual type you or someone else are, but to use this knowledge to improve your sexual relationships. Pay attention to how your own sexual style and behavior makes your partner feel about themselves and the relationship because your sexual style may be hurting your relationships.

1. The sex trafficking cop

Outside the bedroom: The Sex Trafficking Cop is what we would call a typical control freak. They often feel that they were put on this earth to “put others in their place” and feel compelled to tell others what is “right” and what is “wrong.” They tend to think that their views, their families, relationships or careers are what everyone should emulate and they don’t hesitate to flaunt them in public for everyone to copy. They tend to be critical and demanding, always giving orders and inventing rules. They can be very demanding, impatient and critical; constantly giving advice, correcting or “raising” others.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a sex traffic cop, you’ll get a lot of prompting and instruction on what he likes and doesn’t like. They will tell you how you should feel and respond, and they can show you how they want you to do things for them and ask you to do exactly what they do. You make a “wrong” move and he/she just stops and refuses to continue. The worst part is that there are so many instructions that you never seem to remember what they like or don’t like. You feel pressured, controlled and inadequate every time.

2. The sexual beast

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Beast usually talks loud and dirty. They are the kind of people who are all over the place and are disappointed that other people really like them or don’t care if they like them or not. They have a strong need to dominate others and to be in charge of things. They may seem very controlled, but they are cynical and temperamental, easily erupting in anger when their authority or intelligence is challenged. They can be very vindictive and manipulative. They’re not necessarily mad at the opposite sex, it’s just that they mistake aggression and chaos for passion and spontaneity.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sexual Beast, you are not sure if you are being loved or devoured. Their gasps, grabs, slaps, scratches, bites, shoves, jerks, and bestial noises or “dirty talk” reduce the sexual act to its most basic raw level. You are scared, distrustful, dissatisfied and angry, but you don’t know why.

3. The sexual martyr

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Martyr lives with a victim mentality. They are always telling “poor me” stories, blaming others for everything that has happened to them. They do not believe they are worthy of love or value and find it difficult to express their needs or ask for what they want. They have never had satisfying experiences and feel used and taken advantage of all the time.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sexual Martyr you feel that “something” is not right but no matter how much you ask him, he will never tell you. The only way they try to let you know what’s going on is when you’re trying to be intimate, their first reaction is to back away a bit or just freeze. You start to feel resentful because you can’t read her mind and you feel guilty that you can’t understand what’s really going on.

4. The sexual procrastinator

Outside the bedroom: The sexual procrastinator avoids doing the things he needs to do or has to deal with and hates being told what to do. They ask for advice, make goals and promises but never keep them. They are usually very rational and reasonable and take themselves seriously. They can be very talkative, impressionable, sensitive and warm, but they are uncomfortable approaching other people and often avoid these situations.

Inside the bedroom: If you ever have sex with a sexual procrastinator, consider yourself one of the most patient people in the world because by the time you actually have sex with this character, you’ll have heard all sorts of logical explanations like how the mood, the timing and the place are not correct. But even during sex, they will find little trouble in interrupting it or forcing it to stop. You are left feeling controlled, neglected, desperate and angry.

5. The Sex Glutton

Outside the bedroom: The Sex Glutton is a pro at having fun. Sex gluttons have a low tolerance for pain or suffering and are often prone to addictive behaviors. They usually look for adult toys to play with and when they find something that gives them pleasure; food, alcohol, drugs, etc. they get completely lost in the sense of forgetfulness of people and everything around them.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sex Glutton you have the feeling that you are just a toy for his pleasure. If you try to change what you’re doing to please them, they’ll tell you to continue, paying no attention to your feelings. As long as you feel “high and dry” he/she is in her pleasure world. You are left feeling left out, unimportant, unloved, and angry at being used.

6. The sex performer

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Enforcer is wildly excited about everything. Everything and everyone is always fantastic, wonderful, amazing, fabulous, great, brilliant, etc. When you meet this character, you’re pretty sure he’s the most passionate person you’ve ever met, but you get the feeling that there’s something not quite right about his passion; you’re probably right. Sexual performers are people who want to get close to others, but tend to be so eager for intimacy that they often scare others away.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sexual Enforcer, you get the feeling that they are putting on a show; they make a lot of noise and will do this and that, frequently changing position and telling you over and over again how fabulous it is. They even insist that sex is better in front of a mirror because they want to see themselves perform. Their “pleasure” seems so exaggerated that you don’t know if it’s the sex or their acting that they like so much. You are left feeling used, distrustful and even resentful.

7. The sexual idealist

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Idealist is sensitive, powerful, and highly intelligent. They are often spiritual and philosophical, and are passionate about protecting the environment, cruelty to animals, and global poverty. They desperately want justice and kindness for everyone and in everything because their past experiences have been anything but. They may be the children of divorced or emotionally isolated and dissociated parents, were adopted, or lived with parents who kept themselves busy by working. Because they have been abandoned over and over again, they may delude themselves into thinking that their job, their relationships, and their life are perfect and they are afraid to look at life honestly because they fear that their positive outlook will come crashing down.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sexual Idealist prepare to enjoy it not once but twice: first when you hear the great and wonderful benefits of sex and then when you hear the story of the magical experience just concluded. He/she will tell you how the sex with you is so much better than all the ones he has had her whole life and how wonderful you are as a lover. You find yourself pressured to perform to similar or higher standards, just to keep up. But her “ideal” world leaves you feeling inadequate, unloved for yourself, and suspicious of her claims.

8. The sexual pleaser

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Pleaser is usually sweet, cheerful, enthusiastic, and nice to everyone. They have a tendency to confuse love with pity, and a tendency to “love” people whom they can pity and rescue. They are overly dependent on the approval of their family members, spouse, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. They will go out of their way to please and when they do, they will stand there silently with a “so?” look in his face. They can be easily manipulated because Sexual Pleasers have a hard time saying “no” to requests in and out of the bedroom.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sexual Pleaser, you will feel wonderful, at first, because he comes across as the super lover. They ask “Do you like this or am I indulging you?” They even apologize if you say you didn’t like it. After a while you start to feel selfish and guilty. You feel her desperation and her need to please and you feel obligated to him/her, but at the same time you feel controlled by her need.

9. The Sex Corpse

Outside the bedroom: The Sex Corpse is an expert at suppressing his feelings. They appear cool, calm, and collected on the outside, but deep down they are anxious, worried, and fearful. Many have suffered a lot of damage, pain, frustration and have been abused as children or by their sexual partners. They often find it difficult to trust others and reveal themselves. They do not forgive easily and they never forget. Even if they don’t say it openly, when you talk to them you get the feeling that they are very angry with the opposite sex.

Inside the bedroom: When you have sex with a Sex Corpse, their idea of ​​sex is that you play “psychic sex”. They never show emotion or say a word before, during, or after sex. It’s up to you to guess how they feel or if they like sex with you. It’s up to you to find out what they want, or even if they like you. If you ask them if they like something, the best they can say is ‘Okay’. You are left inadequate, frustrated and even angry with them.

10. The sexual provocation

Outside the bedroom: The Sexual Tease is the kind of man or woman who looks at their partner and makes them wish they were single. They love to announce how “super sexy” they are: they dress and walk accordingly. Their whole idea of ​​life is superficiality: clothes, status, etc., and they have a habit of naming or mentioning their connections with famous, rich and powerful people. They are very competitive with members of the same sex and are usually very jealous and possessive people. The Sexual Tease also has trouble opening up and making commitments to another person.

Inside the bedroom: Forget the bedroom: a sexual tease comes on very strong and aggressive, turning you on and driving you crazy with its act. But as soon as there is a chance that sex can take place, the sexy, hot, wild image disappears. They start making excuses or find something else to do, so they can annoy you some more. And if you actually manage to have sex with this character, you will be very disappointed. A sexual tease is fueled by the idea of ​​being wild and sexy, but not by the sexual act itself. You find yourself feeling humiliated, used, manipulated, and angry.

Conclusion: I believe that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to make love. Sex is “good” when it makes both of you feel good about yourself and the relationship, and it’s “bad” when it makes you unhappy and increases your negative feelings about yourself, your partner, or your relationships. always do to become the lover you are capable of being (some of the things you can do right away are listed on my website). and, ultimately, you are a mysterious being. Second, you need an intuitive understanding of the intricate dynamics of male and female energies. Learning specific techniques is NOT enough, you need to know the interplay between the sexes which is enough to evoke a deep connection and fiery passion. .