Legal Law

How to use a prenuptial agreement to create a happy marriage

We all know that planning a wedding, as exciting and wonderful as it may be, can be stressful. Preparing for a prenuptial agreement often adds to that stress and can lead to emotional problems. The process you choose to create the agreement can make a difference.

Using mediation or a collaborative process can open the lines of communication, allow you and your partner to make your wishes known, and begin the marriage on a sound footing. Instead of driving a wedge between you, you can bring them closer together.

Why do mediation and collaborative law work so well? Both are models of open and honest communication.

Instead of one partner presenting the other with a redacted document ready to sign, the two of you take the time to discuss your wants and needs together. The process encourages each of you to talk openly about your finances, so that all money concerns are out in the open.

The prenuptial agreement can protect both of you: It can help ensure that the spouse who doesn’t have money receives financial support, and that the spouse with money can protect their assets in the event of death or divorce.

Who needs a prenuptial agreement?

It used to be that prenuptial agreements were reserved for the wealthy. But there are plenty of good reasons for the rest of us to consider putting together an agreement before we get married. These might be:

• To protect an inheritance that you (or your parents) want to ensure remains in your biological family.

• To make sure your family business stays with your birth family.

• To ensure that both you and your fiancé receive financial support during the marriage if there is a large difference in income between the two of you.

• To make sure you and your fiancé are protected from each other’s debts.

• If one of you has children from a previous marriage, make sure those children are financially protected.

Using mediation for a prenuptial agreement

The mediator meets with the couple and helps them create a space for open communication. This allows the couple to discuss everything that is most important to them, including their fears, expectations, and insecurities around money in marriage. You can also use your sessions to talk about other things, like whether you’re having kids or where you’re going to live. These are just some of the things I could discuss. The point is that this is a good time to tell your future about your hopes and dreams for your happy life together.

The mediator remains a neutral party who helps guide the conversation, clarify points, and help you make decisions together. The mediator can help both of you deepen a conversation about sensitive issues. The mediator will then memorialize your agreement in writing.

You and your suitor will need your own attorneys to review the agreement before you sign it. You must have your own attorney review it with you for the prenuptial agreement to be enforceable.

Use of collaborative law for a prenuptial agreement

The collaborative law process involves the couple and two collaborating attorneys, one for each party. Collaborative attorneys are trained in mediation skills to help guide the conversation and create a safe space for the couple to discuss their values ​​and goals, fears, and insecurities around money in the relationship. You can bring a neutral financial planner to help with the process.

Collaborating attorneys can answer legal questions and provide on-the-spot legal advice, which you can use to help you make decisions together. At the end of the process, an attorney will draft the agreement and both will review it with their clients.

Both mediation and the collaborative process keep you and your fiancé in the driver’s seat and help you create an agreement that fits your situation.

Other suggestions

What makes a good prenuptial agreement? The courts want to know that such an agreement is fair and that you have signed the agreement with your eyes open. Here are some tips to ensure this:

• Start early. The sooner you start (and finish) the process, the better. Give yourself enough time to really think things through and collect all the information you need. A prenuptial agreement signed days before the wedding can be seen as coercive.

• Hire your own collaborating attorney or reviewer. Talk to that person alone. Be honest about your hopes and fears. Interview a few to see who you feel comfortable with.

• Be honest about your finances. The more open you are about what you have, the more you will protect yourself in the future.

• Watch carefully what your spouse tells you about their assets. Does that make sense, given what he knows about his spending?

• Think about the agreement. It’s fair? Will he leave them both with enough to live on? To rebuild your life? Does it suit you?

conclusion

By opening up a conversation about finances and other sensitive topics before a marriage begins, you can ensure that your goals and values ​​are aligned with those of your future spouse. Having these potentially difficult conversations using mediation or the collaborative process can strengthen the agreement, make your discussions easier, and help your marriage start with open and honest communication and end happily ever after.